


tongue tied (over three words)

by everyotherfreckle



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, this is so dumb bUT I JUST LOVE MY SPACE BABIES SO MUCH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 22:53:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5761975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyotherfreckle/pseuds/everyotherfreckle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay, he’s not good at words. that’s okay. poe said actions speak louder than words sometimes.</p><p>;;</p><p>or five times finn says 'i love you' to rey without really saying it and the one time he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tongue tied (over three words)

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is probably hella dumb but i saw the '100 ways to say i love you' post on tumblr and...ta-da.
> 
> title is from one direction's 'over again'. kudos are always much appreciated! please be gentle if you review!

i.

Finn ends up asking Poe the same question about a hundred times – “ _are you sure this isn’t weird? ‘cause I need you to be sure about this!”_ – before he finally decides to stop stalling and just do it already.

It takes him about twice as long as it should to find the Falcon, mostly because he’s going slow on purpose. The longer it takes him to find her the more time he has to think, to plan out what he’s going to say.

Because Finn learned a _long_ time ago if he doesn’t at least have _some_ idea of what he wants to say when he’s talking to Rey, he’ll end up babbling like a toddler that’s just learned to speak.

When he (finally) approaches the Falcon, Chewie is outside sitting on the edge of the ramp eyeing Finn. Or at least, he _thinks_ Chewie is eyeing him. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

“Chewbacca.” Finn nods in his direction and gets a low growl as a response. That’s…good? Maybe? One of these days he’s gotta figure out how to understand him.

He walks up the ramp and into the heart of the hunk of junk – Han would probably have his head if he heard him say that – and sees Rey tinkering with a clump of wiring that’s pretty much falling out of the wall’s side paneling.

As usual when she’s working on something, she doesn’t even notice he’s entered the room.

“Hey, Rey.” He says. She looks up at him, eyes glittering, – can a person’s eyes glitter? he’ll ask Poe about that later. – and flashes a bright smile.

(Sometimes, he thinks, she looks at him like he’s the greatest person in the entire galaxy and it makes his stomach feel weird. But, like. A _good_ weird.)

“Oh, hello, Finn! I didn’t think I’d see you before dinner. I thought the cargo exchange would take all day.” She drops the clump of wiring and wipes her hands on the towel hanging on her belt.

He shrugs. “Between you and me, Poe flew a little fast. Dangerously fast, actually.”

That coaxes a laugh out of her even though he’s certain it wasn’t worthy of a laugh. Sometimes she’s just so nice to him.

“Anyway,” he continues. “I have an actual reason for being here. I wanted to give you something.”

She squints at him. “It isn’t one of those purple fruits, is it? Because besides the fact that those are disgusting, I actually did manage to eat something today.”

Finn noticed a while back that sometimes when she’s working, she forgets to eat. So if he doesn’t see her at lunch, he’s made a habit of finding her and bringing her some food.

(A lot of what the base has is new to both of them so lunch usually consist of the two of them trying new things and deciding whether they like it or not. Things that don’t taste good are usually launched into a trash bin via the slingshot Rey made.

A lot of the time, it’s usually the best part of his day.)

His face scrunches up. “No, I would never subject you to whatever _that_ was again.” He reaches into his pocket. “Uh, there was a little bazaar where the cargo exchange took place and, um, this thing – I mean, I saw this and – “

Okay, he’s not good at words. That’s okay. Poe said actions speak louder than words sometimes.

So instead of trying to explain, Finn hands her the tiny plastic toy speeder.

Rey takes it from him hesitantly. She brings it close to her face to get a better look at it and Finn just can’t read if she hates it or not.

The both of them are silent for a long time before he decides to give words another try.

“I know it’s a kid’s toy, or whatever, but, I just had to get it because,” he exhales. “It reminded me of you.”

Her eyes meet his – they’re still glittering; _how_ is she doing that? – and if it were possible for a person to melt without, you know, _physically_ melting, he’s certain she does right then and there.

She catches him completely off guard by launching herself in his arms. It takes him maybe, a tenth of a tenth of a second to wrap his arms around her and hug her back.

She’s warm and solid and smells a bit like fuel, but in a nice way and her hair is tickling the side of his face and he’s pretty sure she’s gripping the back of his jacket and –

“Thank you, Finn,” she says into his shoulder. “This was really thoughtful of you.”

He means to say something back but he never does. He just continues to hold her until Chewie comes in and _totally_ kills the moment.

Doesn’t really matter, though. Rey stays smiling for the rest of the day and that’s reward enough for Finn.

ii.

It’s not like he’s going to tell anyone about it – because people on the base have a tendency to fuss and he doesn’t want to be fussed over – but ever since he woke up from his coma, Finn’s had some pretty bad nightmares.

At first, they all consisted of Kylo Ren killing him in various ways.

Sometimes he died from the wound to his back. Other times Ren found him and finished the job then.

Those, however, were _nothing_ compared to the nightmares he started having after his brain decided getting murdered by Ren was starting to get boring.

In his newer, fresher nightmares, Ren wasn’t killing him; he was killing _Rey_.

It was always slow and torturous and Finn could never do anything but stand and watch. He would always try his hardest to stop it and he would always fail.

After those nightmares became a regular thing, he pretty much gave up on sleep.

Until Rey came back to the base and the General moved her into the room next to his and somehow knowing she was a few feet away – alive and breathing and _safe_ – helped him sleep at least a little better.

He was halfway asleep – today had been a long day; BB-8 kept him busy with it’s shenanigans and he could not _wait_ to sleep tonight – when he heard light tapping on his door.

He got up to answer, fully expecting it to be Poe trying to get him to go out for a night-flight or something, and was surprised (and a little worried, if he’s being honest) to see Rey standing in the doorway.

“Hi.” She says, and he notices she’s doing that thing with her hands whenever she’s anxious.

The hallway is pretty drafty and her sleepwear consists of a sleeveless top and shorts, so he all but drags her inside of his room. He keeps it toasty. A cold room reminds him of his quarters in the Order.

“Sorry to bother you like this,” she apologizes and he thinks she’s being absolutely silly. Rey could literally _never_ bother him.

He waves a hand dismissively. “It’s okay, I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

For a moment, he wonders if she can tell he’s lying by using the Force. If she does, though, she doesn’t show it.

The two of them stand a bit awkwardly in the center of his room. Finn is internally panicking. Should he offer her a seat on his bed? Would that be presumptuous? What exactly what he be presuming anyway? They surely can’t just stand here all night but –

“I’ve been having some bad nightmares.” Rey’s pretty much the toughest person he knows, but she seems so small now. It’s like she’s embarrassed or something. Finn hates it. She has nothing to _be_ embarrassed about.

He grabs her hand and pulls her over to the edge of his bed for the two of them to sit. He keeps hold of her and places their intertwined hands between the two of them.

“Me too,” he admits with a half-hearted laugh.

“Mine are usually about losing you, in some way or another. Either you just leave and never come back or _he_ kills you.” She doesn’t say his name but they both know who she’s referring to.

He squeezes her hand. “Hey, I’m _never_ going to leave you, okay? I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

That gets her to smile just the slightest bit.

“And I’ll try my best not to die either, alright?”

She nods and lets out a long breath before resting her head on his shoulder.

They sit like that for a moment; she’s dragging her thumb across his knuckles and its pretty soothing and he’s almost asleep when she speaks again.

“Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Sure.”

She releases his hand to turn around and climb into his bed. Any other night he’d probably be having an internal breakdown over _Rey in his bed_ , but he’s so tired, he’ll freak out about it in the morning.

Right now, Finn just wants to sleep.

He gets in beside her, placing his arm around her shoulders and allowing her to rest her head on his chest. She hooks one of her legs around his and its probably the most comfortable position _ever_.

He waits until he thinks she’s asleep to allow his own eyelids to close.

It’s the best Finn’s slept in years.

iii.

There isn’t much about Rey that Finn doesn’t like, _except_ the fact that she currently keeps insisting that she’s fine when she absolutely is not.

“Rey,” he’s been following her for the better part of the day and she’s been ignoring him just as long. “Rey, please stop.”

She’s currently stomping her way to the hangar where the Falcon’s parked and just _won’t stop_ to talk to him.

Drastic times, he reasons.

Finn quickly jogs past her and stops in front of her, grabbing her by the shoulders to stop her. If looks could kill, the glare she’s giving him would probably have him dead. In the worst way.

“ _Rey_.” She rolls her eyes and purses her lips and he has to stamp down the urge to kiss the scowl right off her face. Strange. “You need to go lie down. Like, now.”

She’s still scowling. He still kind of wants to kiss her. Even considering she’s clearly sick.

“I’m fine.” No sooner after she finishes (telling her lies), she sniffles. He tilts his head, as if to say _‘really now? are you?’_ and she narrows her eyes at him. He’s only just slightly afraid.

Just as he doesn’t, Rey doesn’t like people fussing over her but, damn it, she is going to send herself to an early grave – not really; Poe says the common cold is harmless, but still – and he will _not_ let her do that. He is gonna fuss her right into bed.

If he’s gonna try to keep himself alive, she’s gotta do the same.

“Look, I won’t even make you go to the medical wing, okay? Just go take a little nap. Please?”

She looks resigned for a moment and Finn thinks he’s won this fight when she quickly softens and brings her hands up to grab the lapel of his jacket. She gives him _that look_ and – _damn_ she’s just playing dirty now.

“ _Finn_ ,” his name comes out of her mouth smooth as the fabric of Poe’s nicest shirt – silk, or something – and Finn swears his knees buckle. Oh, she’s _good_.

It almost works, too. Almost.

“No!” He steps back out of her grasp. “Don’t try to charm your way out of this. You. Need. Rest.”

All the charm leaves her and she stamps her foot indignantly.

“If – and that is a big if – I lie down for a little bit, will you stop bugging me about this?”

He nods, even though he doesn’t totally mean it. If she wakes up and she still feels warm, he’s taking her to the medical wing. Even if he has to throw her over his shoulder to get her there.

(Honestly, he _doubts_ that’d work but he’ll definitely give it his best try.)

She turns sharply on her heel and heads for the housing wing. He has to jog a bit to catch up with her, but when he does, he hands her a bottle of blue liquid he'd had in the pocket of his jacket.

“What’s this?” She asks, not taking it from him.

“Medicine.” She raises an eyebrow. “Drink it; you’ll feel better.”

She stops suddenly and he’s briefly worried she’s going to faint or something. But when he looks at her, she seems relatively steady. There is, however, something on her face he can’t quite read.

She sighs and throws her arms around him. Well. That’s nice.

“Sorry for being so grouchy, it’s just – “ she pulls back and keeps her eyes fixed on the collar of his shirt. “I’m not used to people, you know, caring about me.”

Sometimes he forgets how much of an adjustment this is for her. She went from being completely alone and self-dependent to being surrounded by people who would do just about anything to help her. It’s probably not as easy of a transition as one would think`.

“Hey,” he places a finger under her chin to bring her eyes up to his. It was quite bold of him. “Doesn’t matter how grouchy you are, I’m still gonna care about you. I told you, you’re stuck with me.”

She rolls her eyes again, playfully this time, though, and opens her hand, silently asking for the medicine he offered earlier.

He places it in her palm and she uncaps it and chugs it. The look on her face – it must have tasted terrible – is absolutely priceless. It takes a lot for him _not_ to laugh.

Finn escorts Rey all the way to his room – she likes sleeping in his bed; something about his sheets being softer – and lies down with her until she falls asleep.

She wakes up feeling much better.

Even if she won’t admit it.

iv.

Neither Finn nor Rey had much of a childhood. That’s just a fact. It’s a really depressing fact, but a fact nonetheless. So whenever there’s a moment where they don’t have to be Resistance fighters and they can just be two kids, Finn takes _full_ advantage of it.

It just so happens that today, Luke’s given Rey a day off from her training and the General doesn’t have any intel for Finn to decode, which means the two of them are completely free to have a day of adventure.

Actually. There won’t be much adventuring, seeing as how Finn already has an idea of what he wants to do.

(Poe says since Finn’s thought about this and planned it out it technically makes it a date, but he doesn’t think of it that way. Mostly because if he does, his palms start sweating and that’s just…not a good look for him.)

He’s leaving the kitchen – woven basket in hand – when Rey walks into the dining area. Perfect timing.

“ _Psst_ ,” they’re the only two in the room and he’s fairly close to her but he does it anyway because it makes her smile. “Wanna join me for a meal outside the base? I told the chef droids to make your favorite: lemon cake!”

“Well I was going to spend the day fixing the Falcon,” she eyes the basket in his hand. “There’s no way I can say no to lemon cake.”

Finn flashes a toothy grin and offers his elbow for her to take. She takes it and follows his lead out of the base.

A couple of days after he woke up from the coma, he was out exploring the area surrounding the base. It was mostly a giant expanse of green except for a decent sized lake a few miles from the base's main building.

When he saw it, he immediately thought of Rey and promised himself he’d bring her here whenever she got back.

Now that they have a spare moment, – and the weather is _perfect_ – he intends to make good on his promise.

“So,” Finn starts once they get closer to the lake. “I know you just came from a really amazing island with a really amazing view of the water, and this is probably nothing compared to it, but – “

He stops talking when Rey stops just short of the dock on the edge of the lake.

“You found this?” She asks. He nods. “Does it have a name?”

He considers it for a moment. “Yes it does.” He gently knocks his shoulder into hers. “ _Lake Rey_.”

She throws her head back and laughs and he’s _so_ glad he said that. “Don’t be silly, Finn. What’s its actual name?”

“As far as I know that _is_ its name. I discovered it so I get to name it. And I wanna name it after something beautiful.”

All the lightness from their conversation left at once.

Finn keeps his eyes trained on the still body of water. He doesn’t _dare_ look at Rey but he can feel her eyes on him.

After a long moment, she finally speaks. “Is that your roundabout way of complimenting me?”

“I don’t – if I wanted to compliment you, I wouldn’t need a _roundabout way_ of doing it.” He tries to mimic her accent and fails spectacularly. “If I wanted to compliment you I would just say it. Directly.”

He quickly glances over at her and – _is she smirking_?

He huffs and turns to face her, setting the basket he held down by his feet. There’s a little voice in his head – that sounds oddly like Poe – telling him to _just say what’s on your mind, man_.

“Rey,” he swallows. His throat has gone ridiculously dry. “I think you’re beautiful. Really beautiful.”

She’s looking at him in _that way_ again – like he’s the greatest person in the galaxy, etc. – and she is definitely blushing and it makes him wanna say it again. Perhaps over and over again for the rest of his life, if that’s okay with her.

Her hand finds his and she twines their fingers together. She steps closer to him – their faces are quite close now _wowokaystaycalm_ – and he can feel her breath ghosting over his nose. “I’m gonna call it Lake BeBe.”

She runs off towards to lake before he can properly protest.

“Wait, you can’t just – “ he’s about to go into the semantics of why she can’t just rename the lake _he_ found, but she’s already at the edge of the lake, shoes off and toes dipped in the water.

He can argue his point another day.

Today’s reserved for eating lemon cake and relaxing by the lake. _Lake Rey_.

v.

“Oh. You’re still here.”

Poe says it like he’s surprised, but why _wouldn’t_ Finn still be here? He really shouldn’t be surprised at all.

Finn just nods, an acknowledgment that Poe’s spoken to him and that he exists and such. Poe stands there, expecting him to say something, but he stays quiet. He can’t talk right now. Not until he knows.

And Poe figures this out – because he’s Poe Dameron and he’s good at being perceptive and stuff – and slides down the wall to sit on the floor next to Finn.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Poe says after a long while and Finn wants to _explode_.

“You don’t know that.” Finn snaps before realizing he shouldn’t take his frustration out on Poe. That’s not the right thing to do here. “It’s just – you didn’t see the look on her face, on _his_ face. He’s…he’s really upset with her.”

Poe – bless him – just hums and Finn’s thankful he doesn’t say anything because he _didn’t_ see Luke’s face when he stormed into the base with Rey trailing behind him looking the most dejected Finn has ever seen her. Because if he had seen it, he’d be just as worried as Finn right now.

“He wouldn’t even let me talk to her. They just went straight into the General’s office. And that was…a very long time ago.” Finn runs a hand over his face and feels a strong hand clap down on his shoulder.

They sit like that for a while, just Poe and him. BB-8 rolls by a couple times to check on them but for the longest time it’s just Finn and Poe. Until it’s not.

As soon as the door slides open, Finn’s up on his feet. The General walks out first. She goes straight past him, not even bothering to make eye contact. It makes him nervous. Well, nervous-er.

Luke comes out next and does the same as his sister. The Jedi breezes past him – and Poe; Poe’s still here…somewhere – without a look or a word. Finn thinks he hears Poe follow the two Skywalkers but he can’t be totally sure. He just knows that when Rey finally comes out, it's just the two of them.

He lets out the breath he’d been holding _forever_ when he sees she doesn’t look as upset as she did when he first saw her and pulls her in for a hug. She immediately relaxes in his arms and the front of his shirt slowly starts to feel a bit wet and – _is she crying?!_

Great. Now he’s probably going to have to do something stupid like attempt to fight _the_ Luke Skywalker.

“I think he’s losing faith in me.” She says, voice barely above a whisper. She pulls away from him, angrily wiping at her eyes. “I’m trying my hardest but all this Jedi stuff is – it’s really difficult, Finn.”

“If it were easy it wouldn’t be any fun, right?” He says in an attempt at a light joke. It doesn’t work.

He’s silent for a long while. He’s searching for something to say that’ll fix this, that’ll make this better, make _her_ feel better, but he doesn’t know what that is.

“Rey, listen,” he takes her hands in his. _Speak from the heart_ , Poe always said. He’ll try that. “I know you value his opinion a lot, and why wouldn’t you? I mean he is _Luke Skywalker_ , but – he’s not going to give up on you. He’d be crazy to.”

She looks up at him, eyelashes still shiny with tears. “You don’t know that.”

“You’re right. I don’t know that. What I do know, though, is that you’re amazing. And if Luke can’t see that then maybe all that solitude made him a little…” Finn taps his temple and Rey seems to get what he’s implying because she slaps him on the arm. “Okay, sorry. But, hey. You’re going to be all right, okay? You can totally do this whole Jedi-training thing. I believe in you.”

She tilts her head and looks at him as if she’s searching his face for something. Maybe she’s using the Force to feel if he’s lying – does the Force even work like that? – but he isn’t. He really does believe in her. He _knows_ she will become a Jedi. He’d bet his life on it.

“Besides,” Finn throws an arm around her shoulders and she wraps hers around his waist. He starts leading them towards their quarters because, _boy_ do they need a nap. “If Luke doesn’t want to teach you anymore, I will.”

Rey giggles – _giggles_ – and Finn feels himself turn into putty. “Really? You’re going to teach me?”

“Yeah, I mean how hard could it be?” He drops his voice to do a _spot on_ Luke impression. “ _’Use the Force, Rey_ ’.”

His impression must have been really good – or really bad, depending on how you look at it – because it leaves Rey in tears. Happy tears. The only kind he ever wants her to have.

++

“Hey, Rey.”

“Yes, Finn?”

They’re cuddled in his bed and she’s tracing patterns on his chest and he’s twirling a strand of her hair around his finger and everything just feels _perfect_.

He doesn’t even hesitate before saying it.

“I love you.”

And neither does she.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
